Saturday, May 20, 2006

I could have bought a lot of beer with that money

Last night, I was at a local bar talking to Robby about terrible movies, essentially, and the movie industry's push to make the Vatican an over-arching bad guy as of late, such as in J.J. Abram's Mission Impossible III and Ron Howard's The DaVinci Code. After commending me for my work in MI3 (I am Philip Seymour Hoffman, after all), the table got to talking about terrible movies when it dawned on me ... I have seen some complete and utter shit in theaters. So here is my embarrasing list:

Movies
Battlefield Earth
Confidence
(to date the only movie I have walked out of)
FearDotCom (didn't hate it, actually)
Failure to Launch
The Family Stone
Twister
(THREE TIMES!)
The Hot Chick
Unleashed
(I didn't hate this, it's just far too ridiculous to be called good)
Deep Impact
Armageddon
Dante's Peak
Waterworld
Star Trek: Nemesis
(seriously, what the fuck was that movie?)
Planet of the Apes remake
Tomb Raider
The Fast and the Furious
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
Anaconda
Godzilla
remake
Independence Day
The Island of Dr. Moreau
(1996)
Last Action Hero
Mortal Kombat
Street Fighter
Wild, Wild West
Speed 2: Cruise Control
(to this day I haven't seen Speed)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
remake
Daredevil (can this be held against me if it was the cheapy theater and someone else paid?)
Spawn
The Flintstones
Anger Management
Titanic
(AND I had to sit next to my grandmother during it, making for the most uncomfortable nude scene ever.)
Bio-Dome
Stealing Harvard
Orange County

I have listed 35 films, and there are at least that many that I have forgot. If a movie is, on average, $7, though, with inflation that is approximately $245 of money gone to movies.

2 comments:

Ben said...

You didn't put Pootie Tang on the list.

John said...

i didn't see "pootie tang" in theatres.